Verse #1: Siesta Scripture Memory Team 2015 from Living Proof Ministries

This year I joined Beth Moore's Siesta Scripture Memory Team, and I'm working toward the goal of 24 more verses of life-giving Scripture branded on my heart. I'm supposed to choose a new verse on the 1st and 15th of every month and post it in a comment on Beth's blog. For brevity's sake, Beth asked her readers to not explain the 5,000 word back story behind the choice of every verse, but I am challenging myself to share the reason for my memory verses here with you.

Verse #1
Again Jesus spoke to them, saying, “I am the light of the world. Whoever follows me will not walk in darkness, but will have the light of life.”
John 8:12

God has really been impressing this quality of Himself on me lately. If you recall, I chose light as the theme for my New Year's post. I think there are two reasons for this.

One part begins in winter of 2014. I was depressed last winter. Truly depressed, not just the type I say jokingly when I'm recounting the messy state of my apartment (it's depressing). It was the kind where it took effort to smile, where I didn't want to get out of bed to go to work in the morning, or to church, and I was the kid in the family who always loved church. It was my social life for the most part. But last winter I didn't want a social life. I felt sad all the time and didn't want to put on the face to mingle at parties or small groups or choir practice. I didn't want to get together with friends because they always ask how I am, and I didn't want to tell the truth, and I didn't want to lie. I felt trapped, without purpose, like I couldn't grasp my dreams and couldn't move forward with my goals. It was like my legs were glued to this dreary, dark spot on the path, and I wasn't going anywhere.

I needed Light. Some light came through a sweet counselor at church who helped me see how much God delights in me just as I am. She told me to write Psalm 139 on my mirror and say it to myself every morning as I got ready for the day. Some light came through my then boyfriend (now husband) who proved his commitment to our relationship in spite of my doubts and discouragement. Some light came through my parents who listened and prayed and prayed some more for me as I cried almost daily for seemingly no reason.

Another part of my light story is a lot harder because it's not me. At least for my part, I have a choice in how I react to circumstances, and I can choose to reach for and see the Light when it's held out for me. But when someone I love is walking in darkness, and I'm trying to hold up the Light, and others are holding out Light for them, and they chose again and again to walk in darkness, I can't even tell you how heartbreaking that is.

For years now I've watched this person I love so deeply walk farther and farther down a slippery slope of self-deception and self-destruction, to the point where last fall, I thought I was going to lose them. It was the worst night of my life followed by a very dark few months as I've watched them trying--and sometimes not trying because it's so hard--to climb out of a pit of depression and anxiety. I've prayed for God to shine brighter and take hold in this person's life.

They need the Light. So I'm praying to the Light, speaking words of Light, and living in the Light more desperately this year. I need Him, and everyone I know needs Him. Whether it's light for our journey of faith, or light to even begin the journey, we all need the Light of the world.

Share this:

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Hello! I'm Faith. I'm a verbal processor who wants to love the Lord and love people with all my heart, soul, mind and strength. I write to think and think to write. I don't drink coffee. I am a dogless dog lover. I enjoy hosting large parties in my home, and I enjoy being alone. Join me in looking to Him and pursuing A Radiant Face.

0 comments:

Post a Comment