The world is bigger than me.

Two and a half years ago I graduated from college, initiated a serious breakup, and went through three months of job searching that left me feeling unwanted and depressed. I lost appetite (highly unusual for me) and therefore weight, which scared my mother. I wandered aimlessly through each day, my only goals being completing job applications and scheduling interviews.


Of course there were things I wanted to do, like blog, read books, garden (it was summer, after all), get together with friends, volunteer. But all those things took effort, and my heart wasn't there.

During the summer of blah, our young adult pastor came up to me after College Life one week and asked if I would pray about going to Urbana, the young adult missions conference in St. Louis. What? Why would he ask me? The farthest I had traveled for anything with a spiritual purpose was Detroit, and I certainly had no ambitions of studying nursing and moving to a clinic in Zimbabwe. I was not interested in missions at all, other than maybe writing about Jesus while hiding behind my blog.

But I prayed, and then I got really excited. It had to have been the Holy Spirit because I had spent a lifetime avoiding even thinking about missions, for fear God would make me do something uncomfortable. But if you think about it, sometimes the most exciting things are uncomfortable, like giving birth (so I'm told) or riding a roller coaster. And I think I had just reached a point in my life where I was sick of the comforts of a boring, sheltered spiritual life.

So I went to Urbana, and it was amazing. It gave me the opportunity to immerse myself, my thoughts, and my prayers in various aspects of and opportunities in missions. And while I didn't hear God calling me to move into a community house downtown or pack for India, I did hear Him tell me this one thing:

"Faith, the world is bigger than you."

That one thing was enough to leave me changed. It changed my prayer life. It changed what I write about. It changed what brings me to tears (although I still sometimes cry over spilled milk). It changed my goals.

I still want things to be about me, like I'm the center of the universe and everyone should pay attention to the profound thoughts I so graciously pour forth on my blog and everyone should listen to my angelic strains when a solo comes up in choir and my husband should always stare at me with his mouth open because I'm so gorgeous. I'm human; I can't get enough of myself. Which is because there isn't much to me.

But Jesus, He's more than enough. For me. For the whole world. So when my heart is in the right place and I'm thinking more like Him, I want to experience more of His world and share His love with more of His world and help other believers ignite their lamps to shine His light for more of His world to see...

HIM. At Urbana, I experienced Jesus and His overwhelming and passionate love for the world. I don't ever want to go back. I want more and more of Him and more and more of what He wants. What He wants is for me to make disciples wherever He calls me, so I've got to be faithful.

That's a snapshot of how God changed my heart about missions, which I referenced in a previous post. There's so much more to come because this is my life now and what I'm learning each day about following Him.

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ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Hello! I'm Faith. I'm a verbal processor who wants to love the Lord and love people with all my heart, soul, mind and strength. I write to think and think to write. I don't drink coffee. I am a dogless dog lover. I enjoy hosting large parties in my home, and I enjoy being alone. Join me in looking to Him and pursuing A Radiant Face.

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