Craving Jesus

Note: I first wrote this post in January of 2015. I made a couple edits to keep it current. :)

I'm on a real open and honest kick here. Yesterday I revealed my deep fears, and I'm about to tell you how much weight I gained in the two months following my wedding. Ten pounds. Yep. It's out now.

My mom warned me this would happen. I went on a self-created low-carb diet with a rigid exercise regimen last summer in preparation for my big day (Can you say 5:00 in the lovely morning every day of the week, please?). I was happy with my progress; I frequently asked my fitness pro of a brother if he would like to see me flex my biceps.

My low-carb diet included the complete exclusion of sweets and sweeteners. It was hard, but I stuck with it. What my mom warned me was that as soon as I returned to my normal eating habits, I would crave carbs like crazy. And I did.

I actually ate quite healthfully the first two days of marriage. But then we hit our all-inclusive honeymoon resort with super gourmet tropical food, and I went crazy. I ate every bite of every meal, ordered waffles for breakfast, and ate dessert every night. I was stuffed, but it was amazing.

It took me a couple months to realize how very tight my work pants were getting - the same pants that had been practically falling off during the summer. It was not a nice feeling. The other part of my problem was that I went from exercising six days a week to once every other week, and my metabolism just wasn't the same. I told myself there was no way I was going shopping to buy bigger pants, so I needed to lose the weight.

I was swinging from one extreme to the other, and I didn't really know how to stop. Every time I tried to "eat healthy," a party or some event would come up, and I would make an exception, like the time I ate three full plates plus dessert at the Chinese buffet. I ate until I was stuffed and uncomfortable regularly, and I blamed it on my husband for wanting to keep an assortment of snacks and chocolates on hand at all times. The funny thing is, he rarely eats them. Man, I love him.

It finally hit me that I was trying to satisfy my soul with food. I was lonely when my husband worked long hours and on second shift. I was empty because my prayer life was so shallow. I was out of control because I was craving the wrong thing. I craved food because it tasted so good, but its comfort could only tie me over for a couple of hours. My craving was really for Jesus.

Today I read in Matthew 4 about Jesus' temptation in the wilderness. I've heard verse four in relation to healthy living and honoring God with our bodies so many times, but today it hit home:

But he answered, "It is written,
'Man shall not live by bread alone,
but by every word that comes from the
mouth of God.'"

See, healthy living is a mixture of three things: healthy diet, healthy exercise, and healthy spiritual life. I knew that in my soul, but a Christian fitness coach I follow, Clare Smith, put it into words for me. When one of those three is out of proper balance, the whole system is messed up. I need to crave Jesus more than anything, and fill myself with His Word and His truth and His light. Then can I be healthy. Then can I get my eating habits under control - His control.

It's again hard to confess to you that I, who claim to attempt to encourage you and teach God's Word through this blog, struggle with my prayer life. It's hard to confess that I usually crave brownies more than Jesus. But I do. I'm striving to follow Jesus in every area of my life every day, but I screw up. So today I'm writing this to tell you I'm giving my health over to Jesus once again, and I'm encouraging you to do the same. January (or September) is a time when many people try to get control of their weight or health, but for us, every day of the year is the day that the Lord has made, and the day that we can surrender to His control.

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Hello! I'm Faith. I'm a verbal processor who wants to love the Lord and love people with all my heart, soul, mind and strength. I write to think and think to write. I don't drink coffee. I am a dogless dog lover. I enjoy hosting large parties in my home, and I enjoy being alone. Join me in looking to Him and pursuing A Radiant Face.


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