A Radiant Face

Not sure if I've mentioned this here yet, but we're expecting baby #2! It's been almost 4 months since I found out, and I have to say, as thrilled as I am to have another precious little one to love, I have been struggling with a lot of doubts this whole time as to how much I can manage at one time.

I'm so grateful to say that we have a lot of really good things happening in our lives right now - things to rejoice over and get excited about, but even good things come with uncertainty and a whole lot of work.

A couple weeks ago I was sitting down to pray about some of these things on my heart, and I just didn't know where to begin. I would start telling my Father about one area of life and suddenly another concern would pop up. Then I would try to focus on that and another problem or fear I had would jump in and take over my brain. I couldn't even pray without anxiety creeping - or rather, storming - in.

All I could say was, "Lord, I'm so overwhelmed." And I just began to cry.

**side note** Sometimes in such moments I feel bad for getting upset or anxious over my seemingly trivial problems in life when I know friends dealing with cancer, chronic unemployment, infertility, or family problems. But we all have our own journey with the Lord, and He knows our frame and empathizes with our weakness, whatever that may be. What a kind, gracious God we serve. **end side note**

As I was fighting my stressed out brain in an effort to lay my burdens at His feet, the Holy Spirit brought the lyrics of a worship song to mind that matched my thoughts exactly. He turned my "I'm overwhelmed" into "I'm overwhelmed by You."

Maybe you know the song by Big Daddy Weave? It talks about being overwhelmed by God's greatness and grace and taking delight in His overwhelming presence. Such a beautiful, perfect thought to switch my mind from the fullness of circumstances to the fullness of my great God who is over all, above all and in all!

I want to make a practice of turning my "I'm overwhelmed" thoughts into "I'm overwhelmed by You" praises. It is so good and so necessary for our hearts to bring our concerns before the throne of grace, but when we can't do it without our minds reeling or our hearts racing, it must be time to worship.

Our God is overwhelmingly huge and able and mighty to save. He is a Healer, Redeemer, Provider and Friend. When we are overwhelmed by Him, we leave no room in our hearts to be overwhelmed by less.

I encourage you to listen to this song when you are alone if you can. Close your eyes and sing along, dance to the rhythm, or stand and sway with your arms raised high. God created our voices, bodies and movement to bring Him glory and help us forget ourselves and worship Him with all of us. It is truly therapeutic, just the way He meant it to be!

Photo by Kelly Sikkema on Unsplash

For so many years now, I've been telling myself that I need to get my act together when it comes to time management, organization and cleaning my home because God is a God of order and it pleases Him when we bring order out of chaos. While I know that God doesn't love me more or less based on my performance, I have convinced myself that I can't be all He made me to be unless I can keep my house and self and child presentable and present at all times.

Excuse me a moment while I remind myself that I am not God. I am not God.

Okay, now that we've established that, let me remind each of us a little bit more about who God is.

God created the world out of nothing. He made a good, good world of beauty, order and structure. This displays His characteristic of orderliness.

I think it's also safe to say He's pretty darn organized, too, given He knows the number of hairs on my head, and yours, and your cousins' and your neighbors'.

God is omnipresent. He is everywhere all the time. He also knows all things. That makes Him the ultimate listener, winning the award for "Most In the Moment". Yeah, I'm never going to even be nominated for that one. God also never forgets to respond to voicemails, texts or messages, or call His grandma (well, mainly because He doesn't have one, given He is eternally self-existent, but you get my point).

So there's my case for God being orderly, and taking pleasure in order.

But humans are not orderly. There was this time when a couple of humans decided to take matters into their own hands instead of trusting their loving Creator and walked away from order and peace and quite frankly, all things good. And in that moment, chaos entered that perfect world God had created. It has never been the same.

Our world, and our very souls, are characterized by chaos and disorder. Our bodies decay, our minds grow sick from the pressures and twists and turns of this life. Our homes get messy and our clothes get stained.

And yet, into this very chaos, our Savior was born. The King of the world was not born into a pristine palace, but into a dirty stable and a family with a messy past. God chose to become human, to enter into our mess, instead of expecting humans to become God before we could reach out to Him. Because we never could bring order out of chaos. But He can.

In fact, His very nature is imprinted on our hearts. That's why we ache for stillness, for quiet, the solitude of a mountain stream, the peace of low-maintenance relationships. That's why I long to purge and organize and deep clean my house and my schedule, to have some semblance of order in a life that sometimes feels like a hamster wheel inside a cage that's slowly filling with water.

Good news time.

Our Redeemer is the God of order, yes, but He remains God in the chaos. He calls to us just as we are - mess and all, whether it's our own doing or just due to the fact that we live in a broken world. Just as we are, messy houses, messy relationships, messy hearts. We don't have to wait for the quiet moments to feel the Spirit's presence because He's with us when the poopy diaper leaks and the doctor calls with test results and Monday comes before you had a chance to breathe.

God delights in order, but He delights in us. *cue tears of awe and joy* Isn't that amazing?

And He is making all things new. As we live in His presence, we can live with peaceful hearts in the midst of a peace-less world, relishing His love for us in these everyday moments. All the while, we look forward to the day when no more tears will be shed over death or pain or the seeming meaningless redundancy we fight against as we daily strive to follow His footsteps in bringing order out of chaos.

photo by Ben White on Unsplash

I've been reading through the book of Ezekiel, and for the first time, I'm not struggling to stay awake. By the grace of God and the illumination of the Holy Spirit, I have been able to see this book I once thought was crazy and depressing and boring with fresh eyes.

These neweyes see the depth of the character of God - the only god I've ever heard of who is perfectly just and maintains his purity and reputation yet at the same time grieves over the sin that separates His people from Himself and longs to have mercy on them again and again. Praise the Name of the Lord!

Ezekiel 1:26-28

And above the expanse over their heads there was the likeness of a throne, in appearance like sapphire; and seated above the likeness of a throne was a likeness with a human appearance. And upward from what had the appearance of his waist I saw as it were gleaming metal, like the appearance of fire enclosed all around. And downward from what had the appearance of his waist I saw as it were the appearance of fire, and there was brightness around him. Like the appearance of the bow that is in the cloud on the day of rain, so was the appearance of the brightness all around.

Such was the appearance of the likeness of the glory of the Lord. And when I saw it, I fell on my face, and I heard the voice of one speaking.

Holy.

Ezekiel 9:4

And the Lord said to him, “Pass through the city, through Jerusalem, and put a mark on the foreheads of the men who sigh and groan over all the abominations that are committed in it.”

Heartbroken.

Ezekiel 11:12

"...and you shall know that I am the Lord. For you have not walked in my statutes, nor obeyed my rules, but have acted according to the rules of the nations that are around you.”

Just.

Ezekiel 11:19-20

"And I will give them one heart, and a new spirit I will put within them. I will remove the heart of stone from their flesh and give them a heart of flesh, that they may walk in my statutes and keep my rules and obey them. And they shall be my people, and I will be their God..."

Merciful.

Ezekiel 13:23

"...They will console you, when you see their ways and their deeds, and you shall know that I have not done without cause all that I have done in it, declares the Lord God.”

Righteous.

Ezekiel 18:23

"Have I any pleasure in the death of the wicked, declares the Lord God, and not rather that he should turn from his way and live?"

This. This is the heartbeat of God. He is Holy, Just and Righteous. He will maintain His perfect character and reputation. He will not tolerate sin. Yet, His heart longs to be in communion with the beings He created to bear His image. He is heartbroken over our disobedience, and He is the Merciful One who has provided the Way to be united with His Holiness. Jesus Christ, God and Man, makes this union possible.

He is calling you. Will you respond?

Ezekiel 18:32

"For I have no pleasure in the death of anyone, declares the Lord God; so turn, and live.”

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